3.05am...

i fell asleep at 11.30 pm.. i suddenly woke up at 3.00 am in the morning feeling so lonely.. it's been quite a while since i got this melancholy feeling.. i hv been keeping myself busy to avoid this feeling.. but i can't stop this feeling from haunting back my life.. the feeling of loneliness & emptyness.. feeling lonely is the worst feeling in the world.. esp when u feel like there's noone in this world that cud lend u a shoulder to cry on.. but this is where most of us make the biggest mistake.. we fail to open our eyes and see all the people that cares bout us..

we are not alone.. we just choose to be alone.. we have frens & family.. the only thing to do is to find someone u can talk to.. someone u can share your feelings with.. someone who listens.. it doesn't have to be a bf/gf.. any frens.. families.. or even strangers... as long as u are willing to share your feelings with someone.. u'll never feel lonely.. and as for me.. i like to channel those feeling by making other ppl around me happy.. i love making surprises.. coz i know.. when i make ppl happy.. i'll be happier.. i also like to write bout my feelings.. blogging is the way for me to share my feelings with the world.. eventhough sometimes i wonder if there even anyone who are wasting their time reading my rumblings..but it's ok.. coz what i really need is to express myself.. and i'll feel much better after doing this.. it feels like i just lift a heavy burden on my shoulder.. :)

today is my father's birthday & nirwana's bday.. so i want to make a special dedication to my super dad who has been such an inspiration & a great example.. eventhough i rarely show u how much i love u.. u are the one that hv been raising me since the day i was born.. u provided me with all the comforts & luxuries that u cud only dream to hv while u were much much younger growing up.. and for that i can't thank u enuff.. i'm so grateful and there's noone else in this world i would rather have as my father.. i love u dad..

to nirwana.. i wish u a wonderful birthday.. i'm sorry i can't be there for u like i used to.. i know how hard for u to go on with your life carrying all the problems u had.. i wish i cud wipe your tears away.. i'll alwiz pray for u and your family to be healthy & happy.. and i wanna thank u for being part of my life and u will alwiz be someone special deep inside my heart.. happy birthday nir :)

to my new special fren.. i'm sorry for what u're going through.. i wish i cud bring back smiles into your life.. i know how much u tried to smile & pretended to be happy.. still i can sense your broken smile.. underneath the guise of your smile.. i know u feel like u're losing your mind... it's true that life must go on.. but u should also remember.. u can choose to go on in your life being happy or sad.. it's your decision.. if u wanna be happy.. put behind those sad memories and move on.. otherwise.. u'll be haunting yourself with that sad feelings for the rest of your life..

it's weird how much i care for u eventhough we just met.. but since u came into my life.. i hv been happier & i laugh more often.. and because of that.. i want to heal your sorrow.. i'll try everything within my power to bring back those lovely smiles back into your heart.. so that one day.. u can smile as big as u want without having to fake it anymore..

p/s : have a wonderful day on your convo =)