the art of love...
The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes You Probably Make With Women
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
MISTAKE ..1: Being Too Much Of A Nice Guy
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE ..2: Trying To Convince Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE ..3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE ..4: Trying To Buy Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens... That's right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE ..5: Sharing How You Feel Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME. An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...
MISTAKE ..6: Not Getting How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE ..7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet.. And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE ..8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea... Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE ..9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind... A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating... Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it. It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE ..10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want. I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help. Hey, I've been there myself. Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women... About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to. It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating. Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out. I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well. It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone. I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
source : origin is unknown (a post from http://www.myspace.com)
"mir.. why are u so nice?"
"mir, u're too nice la"
“mir.. do u alwiz this nice to everyone?”
"mir, u're so sweet”
“any girl would be lucky to have u"
.. BUT for 22 years, never.. not even one girl hv ever fall in love with me.. being nice will get you a lot of friends.. no doubt on that.. but they won't get attracted to u romantically.. at first it doesn’t sounds too bad.. bak kate orang.. kawan biar beribu, kasih hanya yg satu.. but after being alone for so long.. u will eventually realize that u really need to have someone to love and loved u back.. at this stage u'll realize that u're in a deep trouble.. coz no girl would get attracted to u!.. it's so ironic to see wonderful & amazing girls just wasted their love on some jerks.. i know most of them realize how a big jerk their boyfriends are.. but somehow it's ok.. it's ok to get hurt.. it's an adventure.. it's challenging.. it's fun!.. they don't like to play safe..i know all girls love to have fun..
how a women's brain works is still an unsolved mystery.. let me give u an example.. if you're a nice guy.. they'll tell u that u're just too nice for them.. if u're a jerk.. they'll say u're an asshole!.. if u asked her for approval or permission.. she'll say that u're a wuss.. if u don't ask for her permission.. she'll say that u don't respect her.. if you give them gifts & such they will think that u are trying to buy her off.. but if u don't.. she'll say that u're very stingy & u don't care bout them.. what's up with all that??.. the problem here is that they alwiz seek for perfection in every single thing until they forget that nobody is perfect!.. it's hard to pleased a women's heart.. they just won't satisfy.. and as men.. we just have to live with that.. after all.. we can't live without them!...
enuff said.. eventhough i agree with the author.. i'm going to stick with my own believe.. i believe that somewhere out there.. there's a girl smart enough to choose a nice guy over a jerk.. this is who i am.. i want someone who loves me as i am.. and i'm not going to change just to hit on girls.. if what it takes to get a girl is being such a jerk.. i would rather be alone for the rest of my life! (^_^)
Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Men Fail With Women
MISTAKE ..1: Being Too Much Of A Nice Guy
Have you ever noticed that the really attractive women never seem to be attracted "nice" guys? Of course you have. Just like me, I'm sure you've had attractive female friends that always seemed to date "jerks"... but for some reason they were never romantically interested in YOU. What's going on here?
It's actually very simple...
Women don't base their choices of men on how "nice" a guy is. They choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them. And guess what? Being nice doesn't make a woman FEEL that powerful ATTRACTION. And being NICE doesn't make a woman CHOOSE you. I realize that this doesn't make a lot of logical sense, and it's hard to ACCEPT... but GET OVER IT. Until you accept this FACT and begin to act on it, you'll NEVER have the success with women that you want.
MISTAKE ..2: Trying To Convince Her To Like You
What do most guys do when they meet a woman that they REALLY like... but she's just notinterested? Right! They try to "convince" the woman to feel differently. Well, I have news for you... YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A WOMAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION! Never, ever, EVER. You cannot CONVINCE a woman to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".
Think about it.
If a woman doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that FEELING by being "reasonable" with her? But we all do it. When a woman just isn't interested, we beg, plead, chase, and do our best to change her mind. Bad idea. One that will never work.
MISTAKE ..3: Looking To Her For Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us), us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission". Another HORRIBLE idea. Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here. You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you. But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again. You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval. Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...
MISTAKE ..4: Trying To Buy Her Affection With Food And Gifts
How many times have you taken a woman out to a nice dinner, bought her gifts and flowers, and had her REJECT you for someone who didn't treat her even HALF as well as you did? If you're like me, then you've had it happen a LOT. Well guess what? It's only NATURAL when this happens... That's right, I said NATURAL. When you do these things, you send a clear message: "I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I'm going to try to buy your attention and affection". Your good intentions usually come across to women as over-compensation for insecurity, and weak attempts at manipulation. That's right, I said that women see this as MANIPULATION.
MISTAKE ..5: Sharing How You Feel Too Early In The Relationship With Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on. Attractive women are rare. And they get a LOT of attention from men. Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME. An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translate into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men. That's right. They have EXPERIENCE. They know what to expect. And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates. This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves. Don't do it. Lean back. Relax. There's a much better way...
MISTAKE ..6: Not Getting How Attraction Works For Women
Women are VERY different from men when it comes to ATTRACTION. You need to accept this fact, and deal with it. When a man sees a beautiful, young, sexy woman, he INSTANTLY feels a sexual attraction. But does the same apply for women? Do women feel sexual attraction to men based mostly on looks? Or is something else going on? Well, after studying this topic for over five full years now, I can tell you that women usually have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks. Have you ever noticed that you see a lot more average and unattractive men with beautiful women than the other way around? Think about it. Women are more attracted to certain qualities in men... and they're attracted to the way a man makes them FEEL than they are to looks alone. If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman. But it's not an accident. You have to LEARN how to do this. And ANY guy can learn how...
MISTAKE ..7: Thinking That It Takes Money And Looks
One of the most common mistakes that guys make is giving up before they've even gotten started... because they think that attractive women are only interested in men who have looks and money... or guys who are a certain height... or guys who are a certain age. And sure, there are some women who are only interested in these things.
But MOST women are far more interested in a man's personality than his wallet or his looks. There are personality traits that attract women like a magnet.. And if you learn what they are and how to use them, YOU can be one of these guys. YOU DO NOT have to "settle" for a woman just because you aren't rich, tall, or handsome. Let me say this again: If you know how to use your body language and communication correctly, you can make women feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see a hot, sexy young woman.
MISTAKE ..8: Giving Away All Of Your Power To Women
Earlier I mentioned that it's a mistake to look to a woman for approval or permission. Well, another similar tactic that a lot of guys use is GIVING AWAY THEIR POWER to women. Said differently, guys try to get women to like them by doing whatever the woman wants. Another bad idea... Women are NEVER attracted to men that they can walk all over... Women aren't attracted to Wussies!
MISTAKE ..9: Not Knowing EXACTLY What To Do In Each Type Of Situation With Women
Now I'm going to blow your mind... A woman ALWAYS knows what you're thinking. Women are approximately TEN TIMES better than men at reading body language. That's ten TIMES. I know, it might be hard to believe. But for example, if you're out on a date with a woman, and you want to kiss her, she knows it. And if you don't know exactly what to do and exactly HOW to kiss her, and you just sit there looking at her and getting nervous, she won't help!
And this goes for ALL aspects of women and dating... Approaching a woman, getting her number, asking her out, kissing her, getting physical... everything. If you don't know what to do in each situation, you will probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING. And you KNOW it. It is VITALLY important that you know EXACTLY how to go from one step to the next with a woman... from the first meeting, all the way to the bedroom.
MISTAKE ..10: Not Getting HELP
This is the biggest mistake of all. This is the mistake that keeps most men from EVER having the kind of success with women that they truly want. I know, guys don't like to make themselves look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help. Hey, I've been there myself. Let me tell you a little about me and how I figured out how to be successful with women... About five years ago I became fed up with the fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and get dates with women that I was attracted to. It frustrated the hell out of me.
One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating. Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things, I finally figured it all out. I can now approach just about any woman and get her number almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've dated nice, normal, regular girls as well. It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick, insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I might wind up alone. I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.
source : origin is unknown (a post from http://www.myspace.com)
i have to say that i agree with the author.. there's no denying.. u don't even hv to look very far.. just look at me for an example.. i hv always been the so-called "Mr. Nice Guy”. I got these a lot..
"mir.. why are u so nice?"
"mir, u're too nice la"
“mir.. do u alwiz this nice to everyone?”
"mir, u're so sweet”
“any girl would be lucky to have u"
.. BUT for 22 years, never.. not even one girl hv ever fall in love with me.. being nice will get you a lot of friends.. no doubt on that.. but they won't get attracted to u romantically.. at first it doesn’t sounds too bad.. bak kate orang.. kawan biar beribu, kasih hanya yg satu.. but after being alone for so long.. u will eventually realize that u really need to have someone to love and loved u back.. at this stage u'll realize that u're in a deep trouble.. coz no girl would get attracted to u!.. it's so ironic to see wonderful & amazing girls just wasted their love on some jerks.. i know most of them realize how a big jerk their boyfriends are.. but somehow it's ok.. it's ok to get hurt.. it's an adventure.. it's challenging.. it's fun!.. they don't like to play safe..i know all girls love to have fun..
how a women's brain works is still an unsolved mystery.. let me give u an example.. if you're a nice guy.. they'll tell u that u're just too nice for them.. if u're a jerk.. they'll say u're an asshole!.. if u asked her for approval or permission.. she'll say that u're a wuss.. if u don't ask for her permission.. she'll say that u don't respect her.. if you give them gifts & such they will think that u are trying to buy her off.. but if u don't.. she'll say that u're very stingy & u don't care bout them.. what's up with all that??.. the problem here is that they alwiz seek for perfection in every single thing until they forget that nobody is perfect!.. it's hard to pleased a women's heart.. they just won't satisfy.. and as men.. we just have to live with that.. after all.. we can't live without them!...
enuff said.. eventhough i agree with the author.. i'm going to stick with my own believe.. i believe that somewhere out there.. there's a girl smart enough to choose a nice guy over a jerk.. this is who i am.. i want someone who loves me as i am.. and i'm not going to change just to hit on girls.. if what it takes to get a girl is being such a jerk.. i would rather be alone for the rest of my life! (^_^)
posted by MiR | 8:23 AM
7 Comments:
I disagree with Mistake Number 1. Define "nice". If nice to you means showing respect, and being courteous, then the author is wrong.
If "nice" is defined as a goofy guy that falls all over himself when he's around you...then yeah, that's a turn off.
BTW, all the other mistakes are dead on. Especially the one about the power. Don't give it all away. We like to see you hold onto some of it...but the trick is making us believe that you want us to "think" you have given most of it to us. God, we women are terrible creatures.
TheDiva@DivaBlog.net
i think what he meant was.. being 'too nice' that u just so nice to everyone until the point that everyone can walk all over you and u can still be smiling. maybe women sees that as a sign of weakness. they are more attracted to those who take charge & more aggresive..
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aku sokong ko mir.. aku rela jadi mr nice guy sepanjang hidup.. weh, asal blah mmu?? senyap je.. sob sob
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